Iyashikei Inbox

[imjustaman]

Hello, this is Sephiroth. I am sorry I missed you. Please leave a message and I will get back to you promptly.

Comments

[cloudsenior]

not really

supposedly defeating them meant we could change our fates

but i dont know what that means outside of the visions we got during the fight

[He paused a moment at that. If he said he still killed Aerith... well, maybe they didn't really change their fate at all. He wasn't about to bring that up, but it made him sad to think about it.]

i know i made fun of it

but i kind of like the look

[imjustaman]

What kinds of visions?

[How he wishes something like that was true.]

Yes, I noticed.

[cloudsenior]

there was something of red running through the mountains

aerith praying

some others that were hard to make out

[He blushed a little at the comment on his fashion choice.]

is that bad?

[imjustaman]

I see.

[Aerith praying.... That sight would never not haunt him.]

No. You should wear what you like.

[He certainly does, no matter how eyebrow-raising it is.]

[cloudsenior]

[That reaction was telling; Sephiroth seemed to know what he was talking about, even if he wasn't going to say as much. It was fine; if he wanted to tell him about it, he would eventually.]

ok

but ill look nice for tomorrow

promise

[imjustaman]

[Sephiroth would rather not, but would if he was asked.]

I look forward to seeing you. It's been a long time.

[cloudsenior]

yeah

[Cloud hesitated for a long moment, his face flushing bright pink.]

i missed you

just

too much on my mind

[imjustaman]

I missed you as well.

I understand.

[He still wonders if Cloud really still wants to be with him.... If he's really worthy and capable.... He hadn't been able to please Genesis. Can he really make Cloud happy, especially after everything?]

Perhaps in the future I could help with that, sometimes?

[cloudsenior]

[Oh Sephiroth... Cloud knew he had issues, even before everything that happened in Nibelheim, and before waking up after losing 5 years of his time. He wasn't sure if it was fair to place that kind of burden on someone else.]

maybe

i dunno

[He hesitated a moment, before letting out a sigh. Well, he told Zack, he may as well tell Sephiroth too; he didn't want to make him worry anymore than he already was.]

i just have moments where im not myself

that something other than me is in my head

and i remember things i shouldnt and dont remember the things i should

its like im actually someone else sometimes

[imjustaman]

That sounds unsettling and frightening.

[And of course, he has the answers, which complicates things even more. Should he tamper with time? Can he bear to see Cloud suffer through this?

Could Cloud even accept the truth if it was told to him? Especially here, without the Lifestream and Tifa to help him sort it all out?

Could Sephiroth and Zack fill Tifa's place and be enough to help Cloud?

He wishes he knew what the right thing is to do. He already revealed some of the future in the hopes of Cloud preventing it, but ...]

[cloudsenior]

it is

i know every soldier ends up degrading but

didnt think it would happen to me so soon

[imjustaman]

I did not degrade. They did something different with me. I am immune to it.

Hojo was supposed to have done the same thing with you.

[He feels he has to say something to try to ease some of these concerns....]

[cloudsenior]

[There's a long pause, before: ]

then why do i feel like im more like the men in the black robes than myself?

[imjustaman]

[Sephiroth is also silent, still struggling with himself.]

What you're experiencing doesn't mean you're degrading. There are other reasons why people may have such feelings.

[cloudsenior]

[Oh he knows something. Cloud knows it, and he's pretty sure Sephiroth knows that he knows it.]

Sephiroth

please tell me

[imjustaman]

You went through traumatic experiences. Your mind deals with it by making you go through this.

[He could mean Nibelheim, which would be more than enough to traumatize anybody. He half-hopes Cloud will take it that way. But will he? And if not, what should Sephiroth do next? He tensely waits, idly glancing at the wilted roses he still has around. Their blues, lavenders, and blacks are still so prominent even now. If they were not wilted, would they be turning even deeper shades of those colors to match Sephiroth's emotions about himself and his current conflict?]

[cloudsenior]

[He wasn't going to tell him, was he? Was it because whatever happened after his last memory of confronting Sephiroth was so traumatic that it could hurt him if he just answered him like this? If Hojo really was involved... he didn't like it, but it made sense why he wasn't being more forthcoming. Cloud sighed in frustration; at least now he knew he wasn't degrading, that was a relief, but now he had to worry about some other nebulous possibility that could literally be anything that a sick mind like Hojo's could concoct.]

[He swore if that son of a bitch ever ended up here, it would take a whole army to get him to stop punching him.]

i understand

[imjustaman]

[Sephiroth doubted Cloud fully understood, and he wasn't sure if it was a relief or not for Cloud to back down.

If Hojo ended up here, Sephiroth would question the Council's sanity. And try to get both Cloud and Zack to move in with him where he could hopefully keep them safe.

If he didn't have an absolute emotional meltdown first. He wasn't sure how he would react to see Hojo again after everything.]

I hope that helps, at least somewhat.

[cloudsenior]

it does a little

thanks for telling me im not degrading

[Just having that possibility off his mind was more of a relief than he realized.]

see you tomorrow then?

[imjustaman]

Good.

Yes. I will let Zack know.

[Suddenly thinking of the roses again, he looks to them. Zack has already seen them, but he's not sure Zack knows of their significance. He's not sure Cloud will either. But either way, they're wilted. Cloud is going to make an effort to look nice. Sephiroth really shouldn't keep wilted flowers around for a special occasion. Should he?

Maybe he'll throw them out, finally.]

[cloudsenior]

ill see you then

[He started typing more, but then hesitated a moment, his thumb hovering over the send button. Was it too early for that sort of thing? Probably... who was even supposed to say that first? Sephiroth had already said he cared about him, but did that make it okay to say that?]

[...]

[He quickly deleted the message, and just left it at that.]

[imjustaman]

[Sephiroth waited, confused when he saw typing but then nothing more appearing. After a reasonable amount of time, assuming there wasn't going to be another message, he finally said,]

Is there anything you would specially like to eat?